Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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