It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
