yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This baby is an asshole
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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