it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize