so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize