Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
