Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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