You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
