After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
