Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
