Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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