white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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