that's an acceptable place to lick
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize