hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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