i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
