i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
