And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
