you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
