Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
