Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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