being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
