They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
