He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
