I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
