there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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