I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize