he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
