First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
