ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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