I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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