I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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