It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
