YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
