I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
