oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
