Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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