How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
