Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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