haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can't turn off my feet"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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