great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
