A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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