Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize