I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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