You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Vodka?
Forever.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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