in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
