I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
