i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
