Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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