Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
