Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
