can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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