I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
