At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
