Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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