She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
