Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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