And the cops told us we were all naked.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
