i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
