Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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