She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
that is very illegal...i love you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
