Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
