Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
