Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
