My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize