My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
