Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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