nut hugger
She's JV to your varsity
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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