I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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