This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
