So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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