Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
