A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize