The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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