I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
